Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Sites | Writers | Advertise | My Orble | Login

Tales from the Darkside

January 20th 2010 23:12
darkside


I must say I love this silly anthology of creepy, yet funny horror episodes. Created in 1984 by George Romero, there were 92 episodes created before ending in 1988. Also a full length movie starring Deborah Harry, David Forrester and Matthew Lawrence came out in 1990. The stories are of the twilight zone type with a twist at the end. What makes them so great though are the silly story lines and cheesy makeup that was obviously applied with a spackling knife, rather then a makeup brush.


What is the creepiest of all is the opening of each episode. As foreboding music plays, scenes of peaceful, beautiful places are shown.....streams, the countryside, etc. But they do have a creepy quality to them and then those same scenes take on a darker quality. While these are being shown the narrator is saying: "Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But there is unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit, a darkside."

The closing narrative: "The darkside is always there, waiting for us to enter, waiting to enter us. Until next time ... try to enjoy the daylight!"

Watch the opening intro below and you'll see, you'll have no choice but to seek out their "Tales from the Darkside" (Was that cheesy enough for you?)

Sadly, Orble is not letting me add the video in for some reason, so here is a link to it anyway. I'll update it once the embedding is working again.

Darkside intro video
27
Vote
   


I'll see you in hell....

January 11th 2010 21:17
flames

What do Douglas Adams, Woody Allen, Lance Armstrong, Isaac Asimov, Dave Barry, Ingmar Bergman, Richard Branson, Warren Buffett, George Carlin, Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Dawkins, Ani DiFranco, Micky Dolenz, Angelina Jolie, Diane Keaton, Sir Ian McKellen, Arthur Miller, Julianne Moore, Randy Newman, Andy Rooney, Salman Rushdie, Gene Roddenberry, Joe Rogan, Eddie Vedder, Gore Vidal, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Steven Weinberg, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Billy Joel, John Lennon, Robert Frost, Thomas Edison have in common?

They are all atheists and are therefore all going to hell, or in the case of those who have died, are already there. Now what do they have in common with everyone else on the planet? We are all going to be in hell with them.

Your probably wondering how that can be. Well, you see, most of the religions of the world claim if you don't believe in god or don't belong to their religion, you are going to hell. Since it is impossible to belong solely to each of those religions we are all doomed to spend eternity surrounded by fire and brimstone. Since everyone will be there I guess that makes heaven sort of a dusty old ghost town.

But maybe hell is actually heaven in disguise because of all the famous people there. You'll finally get a chance to meet Elvis, maybe John Lennon will be playing at the Hellfire Cafe, you can discuss your latest Star Trek screenplay with Gene Roddenberry. Yep, everyone will be there, everyone who ever lived and ever will live.....all those billions of people, all your ex's, your in-laws, the boss who always stole your ideas.....yep everyone. Hmmmm.....That big empty ghost town is starting to sound pretty good. Anyone got a really tall ladder?

26
Vote
   


Best of Craigslist Humor

January 4th 2010 05:42
laughing mask


For those of you who haven't heard of Craigslist, it's an online free ad site. You can find just about anything that is legal (and occasionally for a short time illegal as well) for sale there. It is a community policed site...meaning that you can flag ads as prohibited, spam, etc. When an ad receives a certain number of flags it is removed. Ads can also be nominated for Best of Craigslist and there are indeed some very entertaining ads. Here is a short sampling of them.

From the Inland Empire, CA:
Once Upon A Hanson Fan
Date: 2009-12-05, 1:58PM PST
When I was fifteen, I really thought I'd marry Taylor Hanson. No, not just like every other fifteen-year-old Hanson fan, circa 1995, but REALLY.
Plan failed. Now I've found my old, embarrassing collection of Hanson crap and I want it out of my house. Here's what your new collection includes:

- Ten or so VHS tapes of Hanson appearances, including two official Hanson-released tour videos, "Tulsa, Tokyo & The Middle of Nowhere" & "The Road to Albertane." (My mother cannot be blamed for encouraging this obsession.)
- A cassette tape of Hanson radio interviews, songs, crap, etc. (I win for most devoted fan.)
- Four cd cases (cds not included) of their first-released albums. (Sorry, but I still rock out to their Christmas album, "Snowed In.")
- Two BIG albums FULL of Hanson clippings, posters, other crap, etc. (Except the one my mom tore up because I refused to sing my older sister "Happy Birthday" one year.)

If you or any of your "friends" love, once loved, or plan to eventually love this band, PLEASE take this stuff off my hand. It holds enough sentimental value that I don't want to just chuck it into my recyclables bin, and god knows Goodwill won't appreciate the hard work that went into this collection. I mean shit, if you even SORT OF like Hanson, or just want to give your boss the most awesome of joke gifts. TAKE IT. And immediately. I will hand it over happily. Even if you just want to see it all out of morbid curiosity and plan on giving it to a homeless person...

Well, no, don't do that. That's mean. Just take my crap.


From Fayetteville, AR:
Need to get pregnant fast by clean educated man - w4m
Date: 2009-11-28, 8:32AM CST
Looking for a light skinned man to get me pregnant this coming weekend or early next week. You will need light brown blonde or red hair. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for months now and my doctor says I'm fine so it must be him--it would kill him not to have kids. Be drug and disease free. I figure we can try a couple of times while I'm visiting this week and hopefully I will be pregnant for my flight back home. Send a couple of pictures of yourself, especially want nude pics--can't do this if I'm not attracted to you. And tell me a bit about yourself.

From Orlando, FL:
Human Soul (black friday special)
Date: 2009-11-27, 5:10AM EST
I am interested in selling my soul or trading it to someone that could help me acquire holiday gifts for myself and family. I have been short on cash due to the low amount of work available here in sunny Florida and would greatly appreciate the help. You will receive a contract and certificate of authenticity both will be signed in my own blood and will verify by name that you are the new owner of my soul. (this is not a joke i really am selling it!) you could use it to trade the devil for fame or riches (keep in mind that you don't have to give him your own soul), you could use it as a doormat you could give it away as a gift or resell it the options are endless! please help my family have a great holiday and buy my soul now! i will also trade for household items and electronics, car or truck, gas mopeds, ect. you get the idea. thank you and have a great holiday season!

From Austin, TX:
Drunk girl wrangler
Date: 2009-11-10, 9:40AM CST
Muscular man closely resembling Hugh Jackman needed to take care of 3 or more drunk girls this weekend. Duties may include but are not limited to drink orders, store runs for cigarettes, fix it kits for inflatable devices, breaking up girl fights, holding hair during any puking, and keeping the dudes off of the 2 married chicks. Experience in CPR and a psyche degree helpful. We don't mind perverts just don't get it on us. Applicants with pics will be considered.

From Toronto:
You puked on my leg - m4w (196 bus to York)
Date: 2009-10-23, 8:11AM EDT
Me: Young, professional-looking law student heading to school a bit early on the 196 bus to York. Black coat, dark pants, nice shoes, brief case, coffee mug. It's job interview call-day for the law firms and I wanted to get to school early so I could sit down in a quiet place, relax, and answer the phone for half an hour.

You: Another passenger on the bus, possibly with swine flu or a nasty hangover. I never got to see your face but you obviously couldn't contain yourself when you saw me, as you vomited all over my leg as we got off the bus. Nothing like wiping other people's puke off your jeans with Subway napkins at 8 in the morning. Thanks.

16
Vote
   


Draize Test

December 23rd 2009 22:51
rabbit eye after draize test


I was recently taking a shower when I got some soap in my eye. After frantically washing it out as quickly as possible because of the pain I started thinking about the infamous Draize Test


[ Click here to read more ]
15
Vote
   


Free Software

December 13th 2009 08:24
Free Software

Everyday, Giveaway of the day gives away free licensed software. It changes daily and you have 24 hours to d/l the software before it changes. One day it might be an animation program or utility and the next day it might be a screensaver


[ Click here to read more ]
29
Vote
   


The 411 on Goog-411

December 12th 2009 07:30
phone goog-411


Google has a free 411 service. Just dial 1-800-goog(4664)-411, give the city & state and name or type of business. You will be connected for free to the business as well. You can also get the number for future reference, as well as a text or map link sent to your cell phone with the information


[ Click here to read more ]
41
Vote
   


Best Visual Illusion of the Year

December 7th 2009 05:44
visual illusion winner 2007


Every year the NCS (Neural Correlate Society) runs a Best Visual Illusion contest. The picture above was the 2007 winner. Both towers are exactly the same, although the one on the right looks like it's leaning further to the right


[ Click here to read more ]
27
Vote
   


I'm back

December 7th 2009 04:37
i'm back


Well it looks like I will be taking over this blog......again. Originally it was written by someone else and it was all about different types of treasure hunting. Then I took it over and the treasure hunt adventure became all about what hidden treasure could be found on the internet. Then my life became too busy to keep up the blog so someone else took over. Now I finally have some time and having found this blog abandoned decided to once again take it over


[ Click here to read more ]
25
Vote
   


The Tim Tang Test

December 2nd 2009 23:42
tim tang test banner


The Tim Tang Test is a series of logic puzzles, one per level with about 250 levels available presently. The site it's on is billing it as the longest and hardest online puzzle. Out of 3.2 million people who have played it, only 106 have made it past the halfway mark, and no one has finished it


[ Click here to read more ]
17
Vote
   


Sweet Hostage (1975)

November 23rd 2009 07:58
sweet hostage movie poster


Sweet Hostage, released in 1975 starred a cute teenage Linda Blair and a very hot 35 year old Martin Sheen. Sheen is an escaped mental patient who comes upon Blair who is standing by her broken down car at the side of the road. He offers her a ride and after talking with her and hearing of her unhappiness at home decides to kidnap her. At first she tries to escape but eventually falls in love with him


[ Click here to read more ]
41
Vote
   


More Posts
3 Posts
6 Posts
2 Posts
99 Posts dating from October 2006
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:
Moderated by Ruth Moratz
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]